What to do, What to Do. that seems to be the question of the week(s).
Ever since my "epik failure" I've been really confused and my family hasn't been much help. They all really don't want me going overseas in the first place, so needless to say, they weren't too crushed to hear that I hadn't been accepted into the program. they don't understand why I want to live in a different culture and especially one that is in such a "dangerous" location. Everyone really wants me to go straight into grad school. Well, you know what? I'm not ready to go to grad school yet. I'm ready to get out there, expand my boundaries and live life for a while. I just spent the last two years of my life taking double credit hours, busting my butt, having no life, in school, no time for fun, family or friends, no breaks, just work and school. period. So yes, I earned my bachelors degree in two years. now I want to do something else for a while. Grad school is NOT something I want to just right into. I can see the appeal. Get my Masters degree at the age of 22. Yes, that would be fabulous but I don't know exactly what I want to get my masters in, I don't have the money for grad school right now and quite frankly a little bit of change would be nice.
Anyways... My real problem here is that I'm so upset over not getting into EPIK that I can't even begin to focus on other options. I can't get excited about the potential of a private school position because I just spent the last 6 months pumping myselfup on all the reasons public school is better than private schools. Not to mention all of the hagwon horror stories.
Now I'm to the point where I an second guessing everything. Do I want to teach in a private school? Do I really want to teach at all? Do I really want to take a whole year out of my life for this adventure? Do I even have any options at this point? I mean, here are my options (so I feel) 1)Grad School 2) Full time Position at Hallmark 3) Private School position.
NOT that anything is wrong with any of these options. They are all great options actually. my problem is that I have become discouraged and now I just feel like I'm stuck in a hole andi'm never going to be able to get out. ARGH.
Right now I feel like I have no direction, no plan, no nothing and it's KILLING me. I always have a plan. that is the type of person I am. I have always had direction because it has always been school. getting through, getting done. well, now I'm DONE and that is that and now I'm totally left with no direction, no plan and i'm totally freaking out. Why? I don't know. this is all really stupid really but it doesn't help to have my whole family going against what I want to do and trying to push me in another direction. No one seems to understand what I'm going through or how I feel or what is that I want and I'm just totally and completely frustrated.
and now that I have totally bored you with my totally meaningless rant, I'm going to go to bed and hope for a better mood and fresh perspective tomorrow.
K.C.
P.S. I want to thank everyone who has been reading/commenting on my blog. you have all been SO supportive and that really means the world to me. Thank you SO much! you have no idea :-)
Ever since my "epik failure" I've been really confused and my family hasn't been much help. They all really don't want me going overseas in the first place, so needless to say, they weren't too crushed to hear that I hadn't been accepted into the program. they don't understand why I want to live in a different culture and especially one that is in such a "dangerous" location. Everyone really wants me to go straight into grad school. Well, you know what? I'm not ready to go to grad school yet. I'm ready to get out there, expand my boundaries and live life for a while. I just spent the last two years of my life taking double credit hours, busting my butt, having no life, in school, no time for fun, family or friends, no breaks, just work and school. period. So yes, I earned my bachelors degree in two years. now I want to do something else for a while. Grad school is NOT something I want to just right into. I can see the appeal. Get my Masters degree at the age of 22. Yes, that would be fabulous but I don't know exactly what I want to get my masters in, I don't have the money for grad school right now and quite frankly a little bit of change would be nice.
Anyways... My real problem here is that I'm so upset over not getting into EPIK that I can't even begin to focus on other options. I can't get excited about the potential of a private school position because I just spent the last 6 months pumping myselfup on all the reasons public school is better than private schools. Not to mention all of the hagwon horror stories.
Now I'm to the point where I an second guessing everything. Do I want to teach in a private school? Do I really want to teach at all? Do I really want to take a whole year out of my life for this adventure? Do I even have any options at this point? I mean, here are my options (so I feel) 1)Grad School 2) Full time Position at Hallmark 3) Private School position.
NOT that anything is wrong with any of these options. They are all great options actually. my problem is that I have become discouraged and now I just feel like I'm stuck in a hole andi'm never going to be able to get out. ARGH.
Right now I feel like I have no direction, no plan, no nothing and it's KILLING me. I always have a plan. that is the type of person I am. I have always had direction because it has always been school. getting through, getting done. well, now I'm DONE and that is that and now I'm totally left with no direction, no plan and i'm totally freaking out. Why? I don't know. this is all really stupid really but it doesn't help to have my whole family going against what I want to do and trying to push me in another direction. No one seems to understand what I'm going through or how I feel or what is that I want and I'm just totally and completely frustrated.
and now that I have totally bored you with my totally meaningless rant, I'm going to go to bed and hope for a better mood and fresh perspective tomorrow.
K.C.
P.S. I want to thank everyone who has been reading/commenting on my blog. you have all been SO supportive and that really means the world to me. Thank you SO much! you have no idea :-)
Hey Kelsey-
I've felt what you have, but take comfort in knowing that this little chapter in your life will pass...It's all part of the journey- and God has you in His loving hands :) It's so hard when you're in that point in the road with decisions..Just pray and decide on what YOU really want..and take account of what others say, but ultimately..live your life :)
Have you ever checked out this site: they have a bunch of job lists...http://www.eslcafe.com/
Also,
My Sister in Law is good friends with a Korean recruiter here...She is the woman who got my husband his job here, she is very nice I've met her. My Sister said it is pretty much 100% guaranteed that she will find you a job, and a public one at that..since that is what you are wanting.Like I said schools all over the place here need teachers..and we've got a great resource knowing a recruiter.
If you're interested I can give you her email and all of the info needed...and if you have any questions AT all, just ask away girlie..
Also, you've accomplished a lot of your age! You should be so proud of yourself. :) Your parents are just being parents, mine too, and my friends were so confused as to why I wanted to live over here..
However, it's our lives and we only get a chance to live it one time!! :)
It is a huge transition living over here, it's not easy sometimes..but it's an experience that's for sure...once in a lifetime..if it is something you really want to do, you can make it happen!! I feel really safe living here too by the way..actually, Koreans are really afraid of westerners!! Haha
Talk to ya later :)
I know, you're right. I need to remember that this will pass and trust in God that everything that is happening is happening for a reason. :-)
I would love to have your sister's recruiter friend's email/information. It sounds like she knows that she's doing! that would be such a big help. Thank you!
I'm really looking forward to living in a new culture. it sounds amazing :-) and it's good to know that it feel safe. that is always a good feeling!
Thank you again for all of your support and kind words. it really means SO much! I've been so stressed lately and to open up my blog and to read this message, it is like an instant weight lifting off my shoulders. Your words are healing :-)
Hey Kelsey..
I'm going to email my Sis in Law and get the recruiter's email address...
I'm gonna get things goin' for ya today...
..I'll get back at cha soon!!
:)
Yay! Thank you so much! :) can't wait to hear from you!